
Today is my 44th birthday, and Ed's been bugging me for a few months about what I wanted. This year what I really want is what no one can give me: to be cancer free for the rest of my life and to have another day to spend with my dad. This is my first birthday that Dad hasn't been here to wish me another happy year and, since I stopped living at home, sing "Happy Birthday" over the phone with Mom. Last year, he and Mom surprised me by arriving for dinner -- a little scheme cooked up with Ed. I didn't know then that it would be the last of my birthdays that we would spend together, but I remember that we decided to order in Chinese food, and Dad cleaned his plate, as usual.
This Friday would have been Dad's 75th birthday. I don't remember what we did for his birthday last year, but I know we called and sang to him, because that's a family tradition. So this year, on my birthday, I want to tell my dad how much I wish I could share one more hug and hear one more "daughter dear." And to say that I wish I had kept a recording of one of his birthday songs so I could listen to it today. I miss you, Daddy. Happy birthday.

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