A few laughs

Since it's Monday, I also wanted to include a few items I found especially funny. I am not the type of person who appreciates receiving jokes and links in my e-mail inbox, but every once in a while something very worthwhile arrives. The first item was sent to me by our friend, John, who feels as I do about e-mail jokes but felt this one was good enough to send along. I had to agree (so did Ed). If you don't want to be embarassed by laughing out loud, be sure to listen to this one alone:

Four Elderly Women

This accident happened in the Dallas -Fort Worth area.It is a phone call from a man who witnesses a car accident involving four elderly women. It was so popular when they had it on CHUM FM that they had to put it on their website.

The guy's laugh is contagious. If you close your eyes and picture what he is watching, it's even better than a video clip!http://www.chumfm.com/MorningShow/bits/march24.swf


The second was posted on the LMS mailing list I belong to. I thought anyone would get a kick out of these 28 Rules of Life:

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
3. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
4. A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter is not a nice person.
5. For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
6. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
7. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
8. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
9. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
10. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
11. A balanced diet is a muffin in each hand.
12. Middle age is when "broadness of the mind" and "narrowness of the waist" change places.
13. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
14. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
15. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
16. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
17. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
18. Someone who thinks logically provides nice contrast to the real world.
19. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.
20. If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
21. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
22. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
23. You should not confuse your career with your life.
24. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
25. Never lick a steak knife.
26. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
27. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that deep down inside we ALL believe we are good drivers.
28. Your friends love you anyway.

I know the last one to be especially true. :)

A good weekend

This turned out to be a very good weekend. Other than a few twinges of nausea and the usual fatigue, I felt good. Saturday afternoon I went to cheer on my neighbor at the town talent show. She was number 4 out of 70 acts, and we (her parents and 5-year-old sister) gamely stayed until the end -- FIVE HOURS later -- to see if she won a prize. There was only one other person in her category, but she was about 17 (versus 9-year-old Brieanne) and played and sang an original song. How could "The Amazing Brieanne" possibly compete with that? Despite not winning, Brieanne did a terrific job and didn't look at all nervous. I was very proud of her. I also guilted her mother and little sister into inviting me over for a piece of Brieanne's birthday cake yesterday (I'm so bad). FYI: Costco makes a good cake.

A few hours after the birthday cake, Ed and I went out to Panera for dinner and then to Barnes & Noble for a CD sale. I usually never go out on "chemo weekends" -- except to the library -- so this was an unusual weekend for me. I'm guessing that next weekend will not be quite as good, so I enjoyed it while it lasted. I am suffering with a little bit of nausea this morning, but I'm hopeful it will disappear once I have my cereal.

Thanks to all for keeping up with my blog and have a wonderful week!

Round 2 begins

Boy, that was a great three weeks! Other than being tired in the evenings, I was feeling normal most of the time. During that time, we had friends over for dinner, I went out to lunch with my neighbor, Ed and I went out to lunch and for a walk around the mall (where I bought some cool new shoes for our vacation), we entertained Mom over Easter weekend, I did a lot of cooking and some housecleaning, tried repairing my broken router but was unsucessful (I had no personal computer for a week!!), and did quite a bit of research for our trip to Europe.

Yesterday morning I started the first cycle of round 2. Of course, my port gave me problems again and simply would not produce any bloodflow for the draw. I think I may have a sheath that has grown around the end of the catheter and acts like a valve -- it lets fluid pass through the catheter but when you try to draw fluid up the catheter, it blocks the entrance. It was pretty comical actually as my chemo nurse, Karen (gosh, women named Karen are just fabulous), tried every trick in her book to draw blood. It took about 15 minutes (she suctioned, she had me lay flat, I turned my head in the opposite direction and stretched the opposite arm out, she started a high-rate IV of saline, gave me a shot of heparinted saline solution to break up any potential clots, she tried moving the port) and finally, finally we got a trickle, then a slow flow and then suddenly a normal blood flow.

If this problem persists (and believe me, although the chemo nurses are great, not all of them have this much patience), they will try a solution that they inject through the port and into the catheter where it sits for 30 minutes and then it's drawn back out. With any luck, that will eliminate the problem. The only other option is surgical intervention, and you KNOW how I feel about that!

This morning, I'm feeling good. I feel very fleeting nausea but otherwise no other side effects. Yesterday afternoon I was very tired and my lower back, hips, knees and ankles hurt, but a few doses of ibuprofen over six hours took care of that. This afternoon, I'm hoping to get out to a talent show that my 8-year-old neighbor is participating in. She's normally so shy and quiet that I wouldn't have imagined she would volunteer, but she wanted to play her guitar (she only started lessons two months ago) and see how well she could compete. Go Brieanne!!

Lydia G and I are going to try to get out for coffee and a visit tomorrow. Otherwise, I'm hopeful that Ed and I will make time to watch our two Netflix movies. It's a great service but they generally make a mint on us. We've had these movies for two weeks now and haven't taken the time to watch them. I'm determined to do so this weekend.

Our friends Steve and Kate are off on another sailing on Azamara Quest today. As you may recall, we met them on that ship in November, and they are lovely, fun, kind people. Wishing smooth seas and sunny skies to them over the next two weeks!

Wherever you are and whatever you are doing, I hope your weekend is wonderful.

Celebration time

Well, I'm slightly more awake and "with it" today. I guess I was more worried about the results than I was willing to admit, because after we left the doctor's office I was ready for a looooong nap. Tonight we're planning to go out for dinner despite all the rain we are having since I was such a blob last night in spite of a 90 minute nap. I hope all of you are taking my advice and celebrating today as well. You certainly deserve it.

I failed to mention in my post last night that Dr. K gave me this week off (at least I think I forgot). My blood counts recovered amazingly well over the past week, but she suggested I take another week's break, and I certainly wasn't going to argue with her. So my next cycle begins on March 28 and I'll complete the three cycles on May 16 -- well, if you include the week off, it will actually end on May 23.

As I mentioned last night and as Chris and Lydia G alluded to in their notes, the week after my last treatment we will be leaving for Europe. We are booked on a 12-night cruise in the Mediterranean that leaves at the end of May, but we decided to add a few days in Paris and a couple of days in Barcelona to the front end of that vacation. Neither of us has visited Paris before, and May is supposed to be a lovely time of year, so we are looking forward to that. Plus, we really enjoyed Barcelona the last time we sailed from there (back in 2005 with Chris and Lydia A) so we are happy to return for some additional sightseeing before we board the ship. During the cruise, among other ports we will be visiting part of the Tuscany region for some wine sampling, Rome, Capri, and the highlight is an overnight in Venice. Now that I know my tumors are stable and my medication remains the same, I can relax a bit and enjoy the rest of the planning stage. I'm still glad I purchased that travel insurance that covered pre-existing conditions, though. LOL

Nothing else new from this part of the world. Thanks again to all of my posse! You are the best!!!

My posse rocks!!

I read a book recently that suggested that cancer patients create a "posse," a group of people who would provide support and friendship. You are definitely my posse and you ROCK!!! The results of my scans: one of my largest metastases actually shrank (almost in half) and the rest are stable. I know that precludes mayhem from your celebration, but celebrating is what we are doing tomorrow evening. (I would have suggested tonight but I am exhausted.) Everything else on the scans looks good, so there is nothing new to worry about.

Dr. K seemed pleased with the results -- she called it "good news." The report indicated a "new" tumor, but she discounted it as one that was probably missed before. As expected, she ordered three additional rounds (two weeks on, one week off) before scanning again. That will take us into mid-May, which is when we leave for our much anticipated vacation (more on that later). So, I will complete my three rounds the Friday before we leave and I will be scanned three weeks later and see her the next day. (No more waiting six days for results again. That was a bit difficult to handle.)

Thank you, thank you, thank you. The power of your prayers, mantras, positive energy probably reduced more than one met, when you consider that there was a month between my last scans and when I started treatment. My posse is dedicated, powerful, and awesome. I can't adequately express how much your support means to me and Ed, but without you, I wouldn't be in this position right now. Take a break, make a little celebration for yourselves tomorrow, and start storing up energy for June when we'll need it again.

Big huge cyberhugs and lots of kisses to all of you! :)

We're waiting (semi-) patiently...

Thanks to everyone for your thoughts, prayers, mantras, etc. I was humbled by the response to my request, and I could actually feel the energy coming at me on Tuesday -- and still do. Let's keep our fingers crossed that it was not for naught.

My scans on Wednesday went in typical Karen fashion. The nurse, who I adore because she is so patient and skillful, was out, so the tech bravely stepped up to start the IV. I warned him that getting into a vein is not an easy task, but he tried anyway -- for 5 minutes without success. He got into a vein but couldn't hold onto it, and he finally called in one of the radiologists to give it a try. She told me that if she couldn't get the IV in, she was going to scan without contrast because "99% of the stuff shows up without it anyway." (Then why are you sticking me every three months????) Using a baby butterfly needle she was able to get the IV line in and the contrast material was injected. Following my scans, I experienced my usual but atypical response: 24 hours of diarrhea. What a joy all these tests are, but they are a necessary evil.

I attempted to get a copy of my results prior to my appointment tomorrow, but was thwarted. Surprisingly, I'm amazingly calm about the entire thing and not acting in my usual worry-wart manner. I think it's all those good vibes that are still hovering around me.

I promise to post tomorrow evening to let you know what the test results were and what the plan is going forward. For those to whom I owe return e-mails, I am getting to them today. It was a busy weekend and I've been remiss.

The evildoers will self-destruct in...

Welcome to a new week and for those of us in the United States and Canada, the first Monday morning after losing an hour's sleep. LOL I am feeling pretty good, especially compared to last week at this time. I don't feel nauseous, just tired, and my lungs feels irritated, but they have been feeling that way for a week or so now. No fevers, no rashes, and, as Ed is always checking for, no gushing blood.

We had a good weekend despite the terrible weather -- pouring sheets of rain most of the day on Saturday followed by very windy conditions through yesterday afternoon. The gutter on the second floor on the back of the house has escaped its moorings, and poor Ed, who is as terrified of heights as I am, is preparing to scale the ladder as I write this and hammer new nails in.

We made cupcakes together on Saturday, inspired by the fabulous ones our friend, Lydia, sent us for Valentine's Day. (This Lydia -- Lydia A. -- should not be confused with my devoted friend and neighbor, Lydia G.) Lydia and I met on a cruise in the Mediterranean two years ago and found we share a birthday. She's a wonderful, accomplished, caring wife, mother and friend, and I feel lucky to have met her. But back to the cupcakes: They were soooo good we attempted to recreate them using a box mix. Okay, bakery cupcakes cannot be compared to cupcakes from a box, but I added a teaspoon of vanilla extract to the mix, and I have to tell you that those cupcakes are pretty darned good. The frosting leaves a bit to be desired, but I wasn't about to whip up any from scratch. Thanks again, Lydia, for the cupcakes, the inspiration, and your continued friendship.

As previously mentioned, my CT scans are scheduled for Wednesday the 12th at 8 a.m. There are three possible results: (a) the evildoers are shrinking, which will be a cause for celebration and general mayhem, (b) the evildoers are stable or slightly larger, which is also a cause for celebration minus the mayhem, or (c) the evildoers show significant growth or have multiplied, which potentially means adding another chemo agent. Despite the fact that the scans will be done Wednesday morning, it's possible I will not have access to the results until I meet with Dr. K on Tuesday midday. During that appointment, we will discuss the results and create a plan for the next three months or so. Regardless of what the scans show, I believe I will be scheduled for at least another three cycles of either single agent or dual agent treatment.

Those of you who know me well know that organized religion is not a part of my life. I believe there is a supreme being of some sort and I don't think he is cruel, vengeful, or distant. (Yes, I think he's a he. Sorry to all the feminists out there.) I believe he is always watching what's happening, and I don't believe he is punishing me for some wrong by giving me cancer. I don't pray, I don't make deals, I don't expect anything, but I am known to chat him up every once in a while. As long as I don't have to describe to people how I view him, what I think his exact role is, and what I think my role here is, I'm fine. It's when people start asking me specific questions that I get uncomfortable. Anyway, some of my friends actively worship in one way or another, and I've had many people say they would pray for me. As always, I say "thanks" because I'll take any help I can get.

So, your assignment should you choose to accept it: Whether you pray or don't, whether you chat or don't, whether you believe in something larger than yourself, whether you believe in positive cosmic energy or meditation -- whatever you believe, I need you to send it in my direction tomorrow. Yes, tomorrow is the big day for the evildoers to hit the road, pack their bags, take the last train to Clarksville, shrivel up and die. We want my lungs to be ready for scanning first thing Wednesday, so take whatever time you need and send those thoughts/prayers/yellow auras to me. It's going to take a lot of energy, so make sure you get a good night's sleep tonight and have a healthy breakfast tomorrow morning. No doughnuts!! You're going to need some fiber and protein so you have energy to burn. Please plan accordingly. :)

Although I won't have any scan results to report, I'll be back before the 18th.

Slighty yucky

Yesterday's treatment was an experience and not a pleasant one. For some reason, the chemo nurse could not draw blood from my port -- she considered it "cranky." This happened once before and the nurse was finally able to get good suction, but this time it simply didn't work. She tried, I give her credit for that, and then informed me she would have to draw blood from a vein. Since I'm pre-menstrual, I started to cry. However, she was as good as she claimed and using a baby needle was able to get into a vein inside my elbow (which is amazing -- no one can ever find a good vein there) and with some trouble was able to draw blood. I guess my veins were simply not interested in releasing blood. About 30 minutes later, my name was called by one of the lab techs. I responded that I had already had all my vitals taken and she told me that my CBC specimen (which they use to check my clotting factor) had clotted before they could test it and she needed another sample. Thank goodness she got this one by poking my finger, but it just added more stress to my morning.

I was already slightly nauseous before treatment, so I took 8mg of the dexamethasone. The nausea finally subsided mid-afternoon, and I managed to last until this morning before I became slightly nauseous again, although nothing like last week (hooray!). I also got in a one-hour nap after we got home yesterday, which is amazing, and although I didn't sleep deeply last night and it took me about 90 minutes to fall asleep, at least I wasn't awake until 1 a.m. as happened previously. Today, I'm taking it easy and since it's a rainy, windy day here, it's the perfect day to sit back and put my feet up.

My white cell counts are down, but hopefully they will recover during my two-week break. (I'm assuming that Dr. K will have me continue my treatments for at least another three cycles following my scans and my visit with her on the 18th.) Apparently my red counts are down as well, so once I feel my stomach can handle some real food, I'll be adding spinach and red meat to my diet. Anemia is not unexpected and if I can get my white cell counts to improve between cycles, I'll be pleased.

As the rain pours outside the window, I'm hoping that the sun is shining wherever you are. Thanks for all your good wishes, and I'll be back on Monday with your assignment. :)

Your assignment, should you choose to accept it...

Next Tuesday, you will all have an assignment. It won't take too much of your time, but it will require quite a bit of energy. Please check back here on Monday for the details.

Yesterday, I felt pretty good but today the nausea is back at a low level.

We re-read the booklets from the Cancer Society and realized that I did almost everything wrong last week. First, I ate a terrible breakfast (I'm too embarassed to even write what it was), then we had to walk up four flights of stairs at Port Authority to get to the car because the elevators weren't working (no exercise right before or right after chemo), and then we stopped for lunch on the way home and I had a seasoned chicken sandwich (probably fried) with french fries. On Saturday I had a hamburger for lunch with potato chips (fat and fried foods) and on Sunday I ate eggs for breakfast and black bean soup for dinner. NO, NO, NO!!! Okay, so we forgot what we read prior to starting chemo, but now we're back on track. No more fried, fatty, fiber-rich, high-protein foods are on the menu for at least the first four days following treatment. This weekend it will be cereal, broiled chicken, rice, chicken noodle or tomato soup, saltines, pasta, and applesauce. Hey, we're still learning here! LOL

Friday morning I'll be back in treatment, so I will write again over the weekend to let you know how I fared this time. I'm sure the 8mg of antiemetic medication will do the trick, although I might be pretty tired by Sunday if it makes me too wired to sleep followed by turning the clocks ahead and losing an hour. I will be thinking positive, though. :)

YouTube Sarcoma video

Here's a link to a 4-minute video created by the Liddy Shriver Sarcoma Initiative:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBzwSFN1D2E

It describes briefly what a sarcoma is and lists many of the different types of sarcomas. There are some URLs at the end that lead to websites with more information. This video was created by Bruce Shriver, whose daughter Liddy died of Ewing's sarcoma a few years ago.

Yuck continued

Unbelievable. Three days after treatment and I still feel nauseated. At least I managed to lose the three pounds of water weight I had gained over the weekend from the steriod. This has been an interesting course of treatment in that every time my response has been a little different than the others. I'm going back to the 8 mg of the steriod prior to the infusion starting on Friday, as I've decided that being sleepless is not as bad as being nauseous.

At least I haven't vomited. Vomiting is the absolute last item on my list that I want to deal with. Insomnia, jitters, nausea, moodiness, restlessness, fatigue -- all of those are waaaaaay up the list from throwing up. As Ed will attest, I once had food poisoning and managed to last 36 hours before I allowed myself to throw up despite the fact that I knew I would feel better afterward. In this case, however, I doubt I will feel better, so I will continue to eat my graham crackers and sip my seltzer water and hope to continue to stave it off.

I'm back in the office being useful, which is a change since I definitely wasn't of any use this weekend. How do people who are on the real chemo continue to manage their lives? I can't imagine going back to work on Monday morning if I felt any worse than I do. I have to give people like my friend Lydia's sister-in-law, Charlotte, a lot of kudos. She has breast cancer and is getting the big guns for her treatment, yet she continues to work and take vacations. I'll have to find out how she does it.

Thanks to everyone who checked on me over the weekend either by phone, e-mail or by reading this blog. I feel a bit like I have to suck it up because I don't want to admit to being a complete weenie in front of all of you -- and I'd be forced to admit it if it were true. :) I feel even better about having been so productive during my nine good days. All that work around the house must have helped as my ANCs (which I understand to be a measurement of my immature white blood cells and an indicator of where my WBC count should be prior to my next treatment) were way up on Friday.

Keep your fingers crossed for a nausea-free day tomorrow -- PLEASE!!

Yuck.

First, I want to thank Lydia for the encouraging comment you wrote after my last post. You always know how to make me well up, girlfriend. Sending you a big hug! I'll give you a real one once we know all the sick germs from your house have been defeated. LOL

Second, thanks to Kate for "visiting" me again yesterday morning. You know how much I appreciate it.

Yesterday was the worst treatment day thus far (no fault of Kate's!). I took the same dose of the steriod as last time (4 mg) but felt nauseated within 15 minutes of the start of the infusion. I nibbled on graham crackers throughout the treatment and ate pretzels on the way home, and even stopped for lunch thinking that some food would get rid of it. Nope. Got home and went right to bed, where I watched Food Network shows (how weird it that with nausea??) and then Oprah before having some soup and a piece of toast. I also took a ginger pill, because the potential side effects of the anti-nausea medication I was prescribed scared me and I didn't know how it would react with all the Gemzar floating around in my body. That seemed to do the trick until this morning, and now despite having had a lovely bowl of Kashi cereal and another ginger pill, I'm still nauseous. Ed says my forehead seems a little warm again (it was yesterday afternoon, too) and I just feel like crap. Not an inspired word to describe how one feels, but it's accurate in this case.

Didn't I just write about feeling normal? I'm as far away from normal today as I could be. Tired, nauseous, cold, melancholy, just plain yucky. Wish I could say that I felt good and I'm looking forward to a lovely sunny Saturday, but right now I just want to curl up into a ball in bed and pull the covers over my head.

Regardless, I'm thinking of all my friends all over the country and the world, and that makes me feel a little better. Wherever you are, make the most of your day and I'll try to enjoy it vicarious through you. :)