Hair

For two nights in a row, I've dreamed about my hair. Sunday night, I was out and about and forgot to wear a hat. I was horrified that someone had seen my bald spot! Last night, I was purposely out and about without a hat, visiting a hair salon to have my hair colored, and giving up the wig. I guess I'm a little focused on my head of late! LOL

I think this is a result of printing out the photos from our cruise. There are quite a few photos of me taken without my wig, and several without my hat. Since you can't see my bald spot (which is greatly reduced from the original 6x4 inch size) from the front, I look "normal" but also old in my mind. When I look at myself in the mirror, I think the salt and pepper look isn't too bad, but in photos, I think I look much older than (almost) 47.

There are several things to consider here. If Gemzar works to stabilize my mets and my bald spot continues to get covered by my growing hair, then the question is whether I want to start the hair coloring process over again. As you may recall, I had wondered how one stops coloring her hair since the growing in process is an issue -- and this is not how I had planned to stop! Since I had to transition to my real hair color, however, I'm now torn about whether or not to leave it as it is. On the other hand, if the Gemzar doesn't work, then I'll have to step up to a cocktail, most likely Gem/Tax (Gemcitabine and Docetaxel) which would make my hair fall out. My bald spot and the color of my hair would obviously become a moot point.

My other issue is whether or not to bring the wig to Paris. It's unlikely that anyone there will ever see me again, and I don't understand enough French to know if someone were commenting on my bald spot. I also don't want to feel self-conscious, but wearing a hat can be as much of a pain as the wig. I'd be interested in your thoughts.

This is my off week, and I plan to thoroughly enjoy it. In case I don't get back here for the remainder of the week, happy Passover and happy Easter!