Another bump in the road...

Yesterday I received a call from Dr. K's office informing me that one of my blood counts exceeds the level for the clinical trial's protocol. (Each clinical trial has very specific requirements so that the participants are as similar as possible, making it easier to track the results.) In this case, my Beta hCG count is too high. Strangely, this is a hormone that rises during pregnancy, and there isn't a chance that I can be pregnant. First, the other blood marker for pregnancy shows I'm not, and second, I'm either in menopause or in chemo-induced menopause and have been for more than a year. I was told that this marker can fluctuate from day to day, so I have to have that test repeated today locally with the results sent to MSKCC. If it's still above the limit, I can't start the trial. Isn't life difficult enough? Why do I constantly have to deal with these bumps as I travel through life? Just once I would like to go back to life pre-cancer, when I didn't spend my time worrying about tests and side effects and doctor's appointments and scans and bloodwork and surgery and insurance.

I'm confident that if this blood test doesn't show the count under the limit (which I believe is 9.5 and mine was 9.7), the next one will, but it will delay my treatment again. That we really don't want.

I have also decided that unless I am at the end of my rope and there is no other treatment option available to me, I am not going on Ifosamide. If Dr. K doesn't agree, I'll have to find another oncologist. I'm already seriously thinking about going to Dana Farber for a second opinion, although Ed would really like to go to MD Anderson in Houston. I don't have a lot of faith in her any longer, and I don't believe she thinks about me, who I am, what I do, and how I want to live my life when she decides on my treatment. I feel that she sees me as a LMS patient, not as Karen, who happens to have LMS. There's a huge difference in that perspective.

On a brighter note, other than the tree, the house is decorated and the first batch of cookies have been baked. Let the holiday season begin! Happy Hanukkah!

And Amy, I loved that "Duh!"