A few laughs

Since it's Monday, I also wanted to include a few items I found especially funny. I am not the type of person who appreciates receiving jokes and links in my e-mail inbox, but every once in a while something very worthwhile arrives. The first item was sent to me by our friend, John, who feels as I do about e-mail jokes but felt this one was good enough to send along. I had to agree (so did Ed). If you don't want to be embarassed by laughing out loud, be sure to listen to this one alone:

Four Elderly Women

This accident happened in the Dallas -Fort Worth area.It is a phone call from a man who witnesses a car accident involving four elderly women. It was so popular when they had it on CHUM FM that they had to put it on their website.

The guy's laugh is contagious. If you close your eyes and picture what he is watching, it's even better than a video clip!http://www.chumfm.com/MorningShow/bits/march24.swf


The second was posted on the LMS mailing list I belong to. I thought anyone would get a kick out of these 28 Rules of Life:

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
3. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
4. A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter is not a nice person.
5. For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
6. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
7. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
8. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
9. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
10. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
11. A balanced diet is a muffin in each hand.
12. Middle age is when "broadness of the mind" and "narrowness of the waist" change places.
13. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
14. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
15. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
16. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
17. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
18. Someone who thinks logically provides nice contrast to the real world.
19. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.
20. If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
21. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
22. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
23. You should not confuse your career with your life.
24. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
25. Never lick a steak knife.
26. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
27. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that deep down inside we ALL believe we are good drivers.
28. Your friends love you anyway.

I know the last one to be especially true. :)