It has begun

This morning, small clusters (not big enough to call clumps) of my hair started coming out. As many of you know, I'm a woman with a LOT of hair, so I don't think I'm bald in those spots yet, but I'm now on my way. I have to say it was very disconcerting to run my fingers through my hair and keep pulling it off my scalp. It doesn't hurt at all, but it was upsetting. I can't imagine what it would feel like to lose all of my hair if I was upset about this.

Although I'm not as tired as I was, I'm starting to feel other after-effects. In addition to losing hair, my scalp is getting increasingly sensitive, as is my pelvic bone. My stomach is still bothering me and I'm still getting that metallic taste, although that has diminished somewhat. My skin is peeling, which I assume is a combination of the typical post-vacation post-tan occurrence and radiation-induced dry skin. Although my cough has improved 95%, I have been coughing more over the past three days. Who knows what's causing that. The good news is that the bone weary fatigue is gone and I'm left with simply being tired by the late afternoon. I'm sure that, too, will pass.

Last night I attended a birthday dinner with the woman I mentioned a few weeks ago who was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. Several of the women were suggesting that things (like cancer) happen for a reason, intimating that there is a lesson to be learned from the experience, which one may or may not ever figure out. On the way home, I gave that some thought, as I have done from time to time. Although I don't necessarily agree that things happen for a reason, I do think that unpleasant life experiences can change you in positive ways if you let them. Because of my cancer diagnosis, I've become a stronger, more assertive person. While I believe I have more patience with others most of the time, I have less patience for people who spend their time wishing their lives were different but either do nothing to change their circumstances or refuse to accept what is. (I guess that's not really a positive change.) I have more empathy for the different ways people deal with adversity. I embrace my age and each passing year as an accomplishment rather than a disappointment, and I try to appreciate all of my life's experiences rather than constantly looking forward to the next one. I appreciate my friends more than ever. I understand that the people who care about me are frustrated by their inability to change the course of my disease and so they try to help in some way -- and I try to let them. That's a tough change for an independent person. Now if I could only get someone to clean my house... LOL

As I always do at this time of year, despite its inherent insanity, I think of all of you and wish you peace, love, health, happiness and prosperity. Please take some time out of your busy schedule to reach out to someone and say how important she/he is in your life. That may be the greatest gift we can give each other -- as well as the least expensive.