Bad news

I had my brain MRI this morning, and three metastases were found in my brain: one in the cerebellum (the back of the brain), one in the left frontal lobe (the left front side) and one in the left parietal lobe (left upper back side). These are actually in the brain, not in the skull as the others were. Dr. Yamada recommended targeted radiation and has scheduled it for next Wednesday, May 12. I have to come in to the city on Saturday to have a special MRI done.

On Wednesday, I have to arrive at 7 a.m. They will attach a metal halo to my skull using four screws (after they numb the areas, of course) and then attach a contraption to that. They will perform a special CT scan of the three tumors, and then I can eat breakfast and lunch and hang out until about 2 p.m. They will outline the tumors in 3D and determine a path for each radiation treatment. Around 2 p.m., they will begin the treatment, which will take about 20 minutes per tumor. Once the treatment is complete, I'll be finished and can head home.

Dr. Yamada says this treatment has a 90% success rate in killing the tumors and a five percent chance of long-term side effects. My other two choices were surgery or do nothing, the second not really an option in my opinion. We didn't discuss the surgery at all, although I will be speaking with him on Friday and will ask him about it. It would obviously be much more invasive since it requires operating in three different parts of my brain. I'll let you know what he says about the pros and cons.

He e-mailed Dr. K to tell her about the report and his recommendation. We both believe this means I am out of the clinical trial, since these metastases were not on the scans I had in November before the start of the trial. New growth in a new part of the body is a deal-breaker, I'm sure. He said that he's certain she will want to speak with me once she reviews his notes.

So, very disappointing news to say the least. While I have every confidence in Dr. Yamada and this treatment, it is not good news that I am growing new tumors. I don't know what all the options as far as chemo treatments are available to me. I'll have to discuss that with Dr. K, Dr. Windsor (the NJ oncologist), and do some research. I know there have been some new treatments lately that have brought some success to other LMSers.

I wish I could have brought the good news I was planning on, that everything was stable and nothing new was seen. It's been a very difficult day for me so far, and I'm not looking forward to breaking this news to my mother -- especially on Mother's Day weekend. However, I can't not tell her. That's going to be really tough.

So, I would appreciate your prayers, your positive thoughts, or whatever else you want to send my way. Right now I'm feeling pretty low.

In case I'm not back before then: Happy Mother's Day!!