The Day Before

I apologize but I just can't get to all the e-mails I've received from you. I'll try this afternoon, but if you don't hear from me, don't be offended. I know that you won't -- you've all written that I shouldn't answer -- but since you've taken the time to write me, I feel bad about not answering. It's all just so overwhelming at the moment. I keep feeling like I'm going to start crying, but if I do, I know I won't be able to stop myself. So I just tell myself not to start. Crying isn't going to make anything better anyway, although it might relieve some of the tension. I might have to let loose tonight.

Thank you again for all of your support, prayers, thoughts, hugs and love. I know deep in my heart that nothing can go wrong simply because all my peeps have my back. No matter whether you are nearby or far away, I know you will be there with me in spirit, and that means so very much to me. Thank you.

This morning I have a special MRI where they will place markers on my head that look like peppermint lifesavers. I cannot touch them once they have been placed, so I will attempt to cover them with a baseball cap so I don't look like a total lunatic coming back to work afterward.

The nurse expects that my arrival time for tomorrow morning will be 5:45 a.m., as I am currently scheduled as the first surgery (that can always change in an emergency, of course). I'm not looking forward to it, since I've been told by the pre-admission testing nurse that they will have to run an IV line in addition to using my port. I know, it's a really stupid thing to get hung up on, but you know how hard it is to start an IV on me to begin with. Imagine trying while I'm totally scared. I'm surprised that my veins are even pumping blood at that point. I'll let you know how it goes.

The surgery should last 3-4 hours and I will spend the first 24 in the ICU before being moved to a room in the neurology unit. As mentioned, I may not be back on the computer until late next week, so don't panic if you don't see an update. I didn't have time to show Ed how to send out update e-mails again, so you're out of luck there. He's going to be at the hospital most of the time, so it will be difficult to catch him at home. I have an idea about an alternative source for updates. I'll post it here later if I can work it out.

Wish me luck, and I'll be back in touch soon. Love and hugs to you all!