Such fun!

Shortly after I arrived for my simulation yesterday -- after practically getting blown off my feet by the wind gusts here in NYC -- I was called in. Unfortunately, I then discovered that my treatments had been scheduled starting on November 11, on which day I will be somewhere in the Caribbean. No worries, the scheduler will work out a new plan. I change into a lovely blue robe, get set up on the table, am aligned perfectly and then the body molds are placed under me. As they expand they heat up, so it was nice and toasty laying there -- at least for a while. Then they draped the face mask material over me. It's a thick, fine mesh and they pinch it around your nose and press it down over your eyes and mouth. Consequently, as it dries, it pulls against your entire face, including your eyelids and mouth, until it feels like your eyeballs are getting squashed and you are practically unable to open your mouth.

Unbeknownest to me, they experience a computer glitch and can't get the scans done until it's fixed. Meanwhile, I'm laying on the table with this thing getting tighter and tighter over my face. I calm myself for quite some time by thinking of petting Spot (the greyhound who used to live with us) under his chin where his fur was soft. That works even through several times when I think I can't take it anymore, and then finally, I crack. I can get my mouth open enough to call out that I'm starting to panic, and the doctor who wouldn't/didn't return my calls comes over and says that it's going to take a little while since they are trying to line up all three radiation areas. She fails to mention at that point about the computer glitch, but suggests I take a few deep breaths as she pats my arm. I start panting through my mouth and I can feel my lips shaking, I can't open my eyes and I can barely move my jaw enough to swallow, but somehow I manage not to completely freak out. I don't know how much longer it was until I was told of the glitch and asked if removing the face mask would help me feel better or did I want some drugs? (How would I have taken the drugs without removing the mask??? Duh.) The mask is removed and the tech cuts out a hole for my nose. Once the glitch is repaired and we begin, the face mask is put back on and the nose hole makes a huge difference in how I feel in it. I still can't open my eyes and can barely open my lips, but I don't feel as trapped in it.

As I lay there, two techs take measurements and pull open my robe because they need to make marks on my stomach and sides with a magic marker. With the mask on, laying on this body mold, unable to see, I feel like a slab of meat. They aren't talking to me because they are reading numbers off to each other, and I feel slightly humiliated. I also kick myself for not doing stomach crunches for the past 25 years, especially since after they finishing drawing on me, they take photographs!! Now I feel really humiliated, but at least it will be difficult for anyone to tell who I am since my mask is still on. Afterward, they remove the mask and then give me four little tattoo dots on my sides and abdomen for lining up the markers when they radiate my ilium.

All told, it was about a 90-minute ordeal, and I'm not looking forward to splaying myself out on the table again, although the radiation for the ilium is one time only, so I guess I'll have a little modesty when they radiate my skull. I have to wait at least until early next week for my treatment schedule, since the scheduler is on vacation and the doctor didn't want to trust my schedule to the temp. I will have to take steriods when they do my pelvis, so I should look like a wrestler (or professional baseball player) for several weeks afterward. I've also decided that I will cut my hair short and get a wig since I'll lose my hair in two places from the radiation and it will be easier to care for my skin if I have less hair. I'll be certain to post a wig photo at a future date.

So that was my excitement for this week. Never a dull moment around here and so many new experiences. I'm so happy I can share them with you, because what fun would it be to keep these events all to ourselves?? :)